I put effort into my fanfiction, so you aren't reading some weird nonsense-I am improving my writing skills through this practice as well. I was surprised by the amount of good feedback, so please come check them out :)
account pen name: Kusanagi_Kiba
New Year's Party-and more.
originally written as a one-shot or a 3 chapter story, I was encouraged to continue it-and that is what I did.
Basically the group goes to another sake event like the last time they made Chizuru dress in a kimono--only this time, someone confesses himself to her.
It is 12 chapters and counting.
Chizuru x Hijikata pairing, with other characters including Yamazaki that do not distract from the pairing, but enhance it's existence. Rated T.
Yamazaki Chronicle: the Way of Shadow
This is a fic focused on Yamazaki Susumu portrayed in Hakuouki. I felt he had very little screen time, as he did...I went into his world and how he goes about his job as a shinobi.
I like ninja and it would be beneficial if he lived longer---more beneficial than we think, really.
This is a one-shot.
And for my more serious fanfiction---This one I have to continue, but I'm having some situation plot issues--despite it's slow update, I want to keep working on it...it's just so very depressing to get into :(
Focusing on Chizuru where we left off in the anime--Hijikata is dead, and now she has to go through all the emotions and ideals one would if their lover in their position in life would when death takes one away. She will also have to learn to stand up again--but it's not as easy as we think--there are many phases that come with traumatic experiences-and she will have overcome every one of them---
and hopefully find a life after....if she does not fall to trauma-induced illnesses before her time comes.
While some of these emotions might seem bizarre to you, try to understand most of us have not gone through this. ---and those with anxiety issues are more sensitive to understanding how the mind would run in circles following such trauma---I managed to scrape up some of myself into this piece as far as anxiety goes---it's a personal fanfiction as well.
Do not despair, though.......I might in the end add some not-so-dead characters into this afterwards....but to reach that, first we need to deal with the pain and suffering before we relieve it.
I will write more reversions of Chizuru's life after Hijikata's dead. I am rather interested in building her together again as a person.
Thank you if you visited this post.
Please reply or leave a comment on here, or the links/profile pages/stories,--you don't have to, but..I'd appreciate it..Thanks!
- Current Location:Here
- Current Mood: restless
- Current Music:silence
I came to conclude perhaps she would indeed hide his body in secret-her, their last secret--only she alone would know the location of his body, and he would be left in peace, away from the battlefield, and far from the people he came to know through the war. (she would share it with Saito and Shinpachi when she meets them---but she doesn't know they're alive).
So I had this theory: Ootori-san kills the steed of Hijikata ( forgot if the horse died or not, but let's say it hadn't yet).
The philosophy behind this decision would be---"The steed carries his master's spirit, and with that his soul.", to contine, would say "Which is lost, looking for his master-they are two parts of a whole and must be joined to pacify a deprived soul--if a samurai dies in vain, his horse provides as his companionship-he is therefore less complete and unfinished business is not his motive"....
After all, misery needs company, right?
It's kind of like a dog mourns his old master after long years of bonding--it is not right to force the dog to live in misery--eventually it dies, losing it's will to live.
The steed would become lost and confused, much like a horse would in a loud crowd when not used to being exposed to large numbers---it panics and forgets where it should go---only that it should go somewhere, but it cannot remember where or how to get there-the sheer feeling of losing oneself in a frenzy of panic caused by extreme anxiety....
If not that, the horse would search forever for it's master wandering landscapes, in hope his spirit still lingered someplace. This would become the horse's only motive, and would be the only thought driving it's body.
So Ootori would be to say "Since Hijikata has left this world, it is only right to join this steed with his master-so that they may ride together after death, and they would rejoin in spirit". Sort of like how the Chinese Emperor had his soldier statues buried with him in his death--to protect him in his afterlife.
The reason I thought of this, was so Ootori had a piece of his dear comrade to bury in hour of Hijikata--to proceed a proper burial, and a funeral in Hijikata's name, using his horse as a leeway.
I'm not sure if I will continue with this, part, though..I Love animals, dont get me wrong...but it seems like something supersuperstition of the old ages might yield.
Otori would remove a specific organ (like the heart) of the horse, and bury it. The rest perhaps would be cremated, or vice versa---maybe the heart be cremated, and the body buried-.
Now, even if you don't ever read this or know what I'm talking about, I at least want this for myself XD....it's a pretty good idea, yes?
I was acutally looking online to see if I could find anything about such rituals existing, but, It's hard to really say....it might only exist in a Japanese text not translated or such...or maybe it never did exist..
but I really like this theory, especially since I enjoy how a warrior bonds with his companion through hardship---in the end, it seems only right that they die in battle together, or if the master has fallen, the steed would desire to follow him through death and what-after. The loyal acts of unconditional bond between man and beast....but sad to say, many samurai probably went through many horses (especially when traveling over boat, they likely didn't afford to hold all the horses and had new ones?)
In all, the best samurai on horseback is the one whom has a horse he can trust, and for a horse to trust his rider, they make a more formidable foe---like the way the samurai wield his sword and becomes accustomed to it, like it has become a part of his own arm...the best samurai would become one with his horse and charge much stronger than those with edgy horses-whom would fear the charging horse more their own.
I can imagine Hijikata bonding with his horse, in that it would carry his already-formidable presence into a more powerful entity on the battlefield...than you could say "fear Hijikata on foot, but you are a fool to challenge him on horseback".
Anyways.....hopefully this will help with my fanfiction XD....I really need to get this part of it over with, that is what is holding it back-what to do with the current situation.
Chizuru must decide, but her indecisiveness is making mine furthermore paranoid...so I guess I have no choice but to choose for her, even though it's hard to watch Hijikata go...I don't want her to give his body up either, but, since he is a human, his body will perish...so, she can't hold his physical self forever unless she gives her life up-----which I don't think he would agree with, after all that's happened...and I don't want her to die either, but I admit, if I was her, it would be something I would have considered------go mad and part with the last sight of him, or assume by death I would join him(altho with the spirital/supernatural appeal, I would have to say she would join him after all...but in this world, I don't know what would happen---- but I also think she would probably be sent elsewhere for giving up so easily when the other men died fighting---so whatever chose their path in death would figure she didn't deserve to join them in the end....oh, the irony.
If you are interested in reading the fanfiction I speak of, I have a link to it here:
Pen name: Kusanagi-Kiba
Please rate/review if you read it. I need to continue...but it is on chapter 3.
For others interested in Hakuouki, I have 3 more-- one is continuous (due to popular response), and 2 are one-shots. These are some of my more serious fanfiction, and I have not written a lot---so bare with me, I am using this to improve my writing skills :).
- Current Location:my mind
- Current Mood: thought-provoked
This is a fanfic expansion of the last moments of Hijikata. I finished it just now, it is time for me to go to bed, so I didn't proof all of it-there are some errors I know....
anyways, off I go for now.
Everyone had already died...but Hijikata.....Hijikata was different....but, somehow he was dieing now, and she didn't know what to do, what to do but cry and pretend everything is okay, but every person and thing she ever known to love was gone, her world was gone.
She tried to wake him. He had killed Kazama, but he fought still injured, using his rasetsu strength in addition-it was a huge toll on his body-and Chizuru wished they could have just walked away instead of facing him now. He lay on her lap, smiling sweetly with a tone of sadness. His eyes were full of regret and pain, yet satisfied for some reason unknown to her, as if to say "everything is alright now", because here was dying just when things were getting better...why did he have to? why? It's not fair!
Chizuru's vision became fuzzy as her tears streamed in agony, her voice briefly shaken by the sorrow weakening her spirit.
"Don't leave me.....don't....leave..." her tears burst like falls.."I love you!....why?....why does this have to-happen to me,..to us?" she chocked, shaking.
"Chizuru....I just, wanted to protect you..." he spoke quietly, his voice weakening.
"YOU DID! I just wanted us to live in peace, I wanted to see you live, I wanted us to be together..!" she sobbed.
"I'm sorry...." He frowned briefly, his face full of guilt at what he had done.
"Don't be sorry...just come back, come back!! Please, don't die! it's all I want!....." Chizuru body shook further
".......but now no one will come after you...I wish I could be with you longer, I wish I didn't drink that potion, for even though I won battles with it, I have broken a life important to me---and before, I had no idea how much you were"
Chizuru let out a cry. "You always lived, and you still outlived everyone...It feels so strange-I feel like-" a soft, cool hand touched her face.
"I don't want to see you like this, Chizuru.....I want you to carry on living, I'll watch over you....because..I love you"
If anything else could make her body well up more reaction to the pain she felt, it was just that. Being told he loved her, at his last words-of all the time they spend near one another, Death chose to make this the time they finally realized what they could have had together.
"I want you to smile for me at least once, okay?" His voice began to crack, he was beginning to fade away.
"Hijikata!" she clenched his body, staring into his eyes desperately, searching for some hopeful way to bring him back somehow, hoping he was still with her.
"If you keep trembling like that, you are going to pass out, I can't have that" Hijikata managed a weak smile, brushing her hair from her face. He hoped his sene of humour would lighten her up, a hopeless attempt.
"Don't say that, I'd do anything to have you return to me.....!!" She cried out desperately.
"I just want to know you will live on and make the best of what...you have left....Promise me, you'll try your hardest. Do it for us, for every man you saw die....please....Chizuru...live on, let us guide you-........." Hijikata held his breathe for a moment, clearly losing himself. " Live your life to make up for all that is lost, I order you as the commander of the shinsengumi.."
"I-I can't be, how?! without you-"
"You are strong, Chizuru........you could have left us many times, yet you followed us to the end of the harshest trails, to our deaths-you did not falter, but had hope. I want you to be strong"
"That was different!....you were all alive...but now, I have nothing to live for-my family is dead, and my only friends, my whole world....you" she trembled, yet calmed for a split second, like telling him what he meant to her took a weight off her shoulders.
"I know it's hard, but right now, there's nothing else we can do-if I could stop time, I'd be here for you...if I could become immortal, I'd stay with you--but sadly..., even my mortal body would meet it's time--we cannot escape death, only run....but the harder we run, the more we cheat and defy death.......the harder it hits us, with tricks up it's sleeve to make sure of it--just like the rasetsu" He spoke more clearly, his intentions needing to be heard seriously.
Just before he could speak much more, he gave her a smile , his eyes that said "I'm going now, please don't mourn any longer....take care....."
"......good bye, Chizuru..." Hijikata's eyes began to leak of his true emotions. "I really wish I was here for you......my..love.....my time here with you has made me realize many things-you are so important...and I let you down"
"NO!!" Chizuru leaned over him desperately, shaking him gently, she touched his face. She ran her fingers over him, caressing his hair and delicate facial features, his pupils diluting into the abyss.
Chizuru began to shake again, trembling so hard it hurt, her body turning cold with shivers up her spine.
"...No.....Hijikata!...." she squeaked, her voice broken between tears and tense lungs.
She smiled for him one last time, and than, she saw him smile. His lips began to relax as his soul departed from her embrace.
Just as Chizuru began to reach the line between tears and freezing with shock, a warm hand caressed her face, gently.
"!...Hijikata........" she looked down, and his body was than lifeless. She realized it couldn't have been him, for his hands were cold....but across from her stood a more life-filled image of her Hijikata, as if his last essence gave him one last chance to see her before leave.
His spirit was warm, and filled her with bitter sweet feelings of relief and sorrow. She knew it wouldn't last...
I love you" He said.....smiling. "Please make best of what you have, I'll always be watching over you...cherish what you have left"
If she hadn't known better, she saw his spirit crying, his eyes now exposing what had been trying to hide from her, to prevent her from crying...but he couldn't withstand the pain any longer, and he said farewell to his lifeless body.
Chizuru wanted to speak, but her emotions still had welled up, and she burst them out. There was no words for what she was feeling, not a single character on a scroll, or a poem, or logical idea.
She managed a weak, warm smile in return, so while passing into his afterlife, may he witness the last of encounter of her, and he go in peace. He smiled back, and began to fade away.
Chizuru put her hand out to touch his that had felt so warm and delicate, but it was almost dissipated from the air as she felt his hand slowly dissapear. She tried to hold it........., but it was too late.
Caressing his lifeless body, she noticed a smile on his face stood firm, yet daintily vague. He looked peaceful, as if he was just sleeping, as if he would just....wake up, any moment. It was just a dream, he wasn't dead, he'd survive this, he always had.
She touched his hair, staring into his closed eyes, hoping....but deep down inside, she knew....
He was gone.
She was alone.
I mustve cried at least once watching the scene I expanded on, and two more while writing it :(.....for I felt the cold shill go up my spine watching all this happen at once, as if this wasnt meant to happen...but somehow it's happening, somehow. hes dying....but I didn't want to believe it.
Chizuru.....I hope you make the best of it, somehow, in time. Heal.
I have never felt so depressed and hit by an anime ending in my life :(....not even fullmetal alchemist hurt so much.
Please stick around for my interpretation of Chizuru's life after Hijikata's death.
I will expand on this in a second chapter
- Current Mood: cold
- Current Music:none atm
My most recent craze. An anime based on a dating sim (for girls!) involving many cool samurai guys..and of course, the girl. I have nothing against the female protagonist unlike some of the fans, what would have been the point of a romance anime without her in it?
and don't even mention yaoi.... I wonder how yaoi fans would feel if we made their yaoi boys dating girls like straight men.....oh, they would'nt be happy, would they? hypocrites.
So I have some fan art of this Hakuouki anime series :).
Did I mention I haven't been drawing anime as of late? oh, besides the fact that I rarely use my live journal now (the main reason I joined was to be part of the Bakumatsu lj group....after that series ended, things just died, and I saw less point in coming on)
I am so excited for season two. Sadly, I cannot even find the raws for the updated episodes....not on time. It is quite hard to find ep4 as it is, let alone with subs :/. I believe episode 6 is already out or on it's way, so this is kind of dissapointing....but what can you do? guess I'll just wait.
I've written a one-shot fanfiction already on episode 2 of season 2 based on the way I wanted it to go as a fangirl....a sane fangirl, but deep inside, I'm so excited over my favourite pairing XD......calm.
This was based off I believe a digitally coloured fan art...credit to whomever did that work. I sketched off it and added some effects because my picture was a bit messy.
This is the only coloured piece so far, I do intend to do some more.
Hijikata again. I don't like how his face turned out....this picture was small.
Hijikata looks a bit evil...I'm sorry lol....it was hard to fix his face, he's so subtle.
sketches done at work:
pretty good for no reference, right?
I had a grasp of it after drawing him at home prior to this.
What you think?
to see all my work, visit
I also draw Bakumatsu KI, Tokyo Majin and other randomness....I like indie anime fandoms. I also like D. Gray-man, and some more popular series...but most of my fan art is based on series with less art.
- Current Location:at home, of course
- Current Mood: drained yet hungry
- Current Music:30 seconds to Mars
I want to make more BKI fanart, seriously x-x. But I keep putting it off, and my people-drawing skills have gotten worse, and worse. I havent even seriously tried drawing any human character for a long time now, just some scrapped sketches.
My work life is pretty drama-tic, its like high school all over again with the ones my age, and with the others its better. I get accused of accusing so and so of hitting on the boy I like at work who's got a gf, and her herself is married, and I get called a stalker when I accidently miss the food aisle and decide to visit her to make it less awkward rather than passing by her but looking her way, you know? thats even less stalker-like what I did. Than she got along today, but uh...she didnt quite seem to actually smile when I said hi, like she was reluctant. I still pretended nothing was wrong, but in the events that she insults me personally how she also has or harrased me about other guys, I was ready to stand up from my quiet self and threaten to end our friendship on the spot, well really, Im not threatening anything, she is...I tried even in the doubts of things to be friendly, but she still tried to make me feel like Im the bad guy. Its a long story, really. Liking a co-worker isnt what I wanted, but it just happens you know o.o? I sorta thought he was cute before, but I also intended to get over him, which is easy when he's not around, than I talk to him when hes in a good mood again and I forget I wanted to forget him x_x.
anyways, lol...stuff like that. Ive had quite a change in things, I cant remember if I had moved from Vancouver last time I was on here...but Ive been away for almost a year. I miss it. a BF would be the only thing stopping me from moving me back when I got the money, or rather it would test me, what I want most:my original life with my best friends around physically, or a relationship. Well, relationships that are romantic end the easiest often, so really best friends is the best choice, but that "in the moment" feeling is what stops people.]
Well...I guess I can find what fanart I DO have to post, it wont be BKI, though.
By ready to leave, I mean leave this house, leave this province...Im going to leave this week for 2 weeks. Wonder what it will feel like when Im back? depressing.
- Current Mood: ready to leave
- Current Music:Chouwa oto~With Reflection-Kokia
Also, I have made a wallpaper for Hijikata, to see it or download it, go to my deviantArt gallery.
(I'd also appreciate it if you left a comment, especially if you decide to use any of the screenshots or avatars Ive made in a previous entry *my fanart is not open for editing, the avatars...not really open to that either*...as far as I can tell, no one comes to this journal at all, so leaving a comment would probably-just maybe help me feel less...invisible)
- Current Mood: ignored
I am going to be on vacation for 2 weeks including this week. I just want to inform any, incase you decide to reply to any messages Ive posted in journal or in the club *well, if you reply, than you know which club*. This means Im gonna be behind in all the series that are still updating of course, but I will just to make a day to sit down and watch it all once Im back.
I don't know how you can see it on my journal as I cant seem to find a link to it, but I have many screenshots for viewing in my gallery/scrapbook(s) to look at, only for LJ members.
I will likely post a few photos of my trip in here later if anyone is interested ( I'll probably do it anyways, though)
For any/all that do read my fanfics, I know I havnt been updating....it is because in order to inspire me to update, I need to KNOW that there are readers, and o know that, I want ratings and reviews, as stats only tell me that you fliped to my story page, possibly by mistake, and I wont take it as seriously. I actually made my first BKI fanfic so far have 2 chapters before I even edited up to FF.net, but the second is on hold till reviews, and also because I have some things I want to change, but not quite sure yet on what exactly...Ill decide soon.
- Current Location:SK
- Current Mood: creative
- Current Music:Nickelback (radio)
On other things, I do not yet know how much time I will have to watch all my anime when Im into the school season again, and working...Im sure I can at least get one episode in every few days or so...it is sort of like "my time"...I enjoy just watching it by myself. In that, I guess that means I will not be able to update my galleries, sites, journals...stuff like that, as often (I still get distracted from a lot of them already as it is).
If I'm lucky, and I hope I can, I plan to go to a convention later this year.
- Current Location:going to bed finaly
- Current Mood: and worn out